Cagliostro/Stories
Light, Alk, and Stella stumble upon Cagliostro while exploring the Kaleidoscope. The alchemist takes a keen interest in these potential research subjects and announces she'll be joining their adventures.
Cagliostro: Argh, Clarisse! How many times have I told you? Finish calculations BEFORE you disintegrate reality—
Cagliostro: Wait, where the hell am I?
Cagliostro: A welcoming party, eh? Not the classiest greeting I've ever been given.
Cagliostro: Hah. Very well. Before I unlock the mysteries of this world, I'll deal with these fools. Come, Ouroboros!
Cagliostro: Huh? Is my composition off? No, that can't be it...
Cagliostro: Ah-hah! Of course! A different world requires a different methodology.
Cagliostro: Hm. What's this filling the air? So even the elemental configuration is different.
Cagliostro: But if we're talking basic physics, small discrepancies are irrelevant. All I need to do is tweak my formula and—
Cagliostro: What a curious place. The sheer magnitude of these tremors is unnatural.
Cagliostro: Oy, idiots, will you PLEASE leave a genius to her thoughts?
Alk: That last tremor was a doozy.
Light: The epicenter was below us. It may have started in the depths.
Alk: Wow, the depths... I wonder what's down there. No one's been able to find out yet, right?
Stella: I would also like to uncover more about them. How do they connect to different worlds without the aid of a World Flipper?
Light: Do not go needlessly into the depths. We are here to train. Seeking knowledge comes after.
Light: Another tremor? No... It's different.
Cagliostro: Hehe! Oooh, mister and miss skyfarers!
Cagliostro: I think I'm a widdle lost. Do you wanna help me?
Alk: Um... How so?
Cagliostro: There are these big, mean monsters, and I can't beat them by myself. Pleeease?
Alk: H-hold on!
Alk: This is not what we signed up for! There's so many of them!
Cagliostro: Phew... Finally, I have some breathing room to think.
Stella: Do you have a strategy?
Cagliostro: I am the world's cutest, most super genius alchemist. I AM the strategy.
Cagliostro: Now, let's see... Light and shadow... Fire, water, and wind—oh, and thunder?
Cagliostro: I'll use those tremors for amplification aaand—come forth, Ouroboros! It's snack time!
Alk: H-holy mackerel... That was ONE shot...
Cagliostro: One is more than enough! Especially since you provided ample distraction. Good job, meat shield.
Alk: Meat shield? Uh, weren't you nicer like five minutes ago?
Cagliostro: Whatever could you mean? Cagliostro is always cute as a button!
Alk: Man, what a weirdo...
Light: Alk. Do not let down your guard. She is a wolf, wearing the guise of a lamb.
Cagliostro: Hey, meanie! That's not very nice! Besides, you aren't the same person on the insi—
Cagliostro: Ah! You AREN'T the same on the inside. Are you a homunculus? No, that's not right. How does this work?
Stella: Light is a great hero, but he was flung far from his home world. We travel now to find that world.
Cagliostro: You're quite the intriguing specimen yourself...
Cagliostro: Looking into other worlds, are you? Perfect. Then I shall join you on your quest.
Alk: W-wait! You weren't exactly invited...
Cagliostro: Hunh? Listen, I'm doing you a favor. Turn it down... and you might regret it.
Alk: Oh, shoot. Then I meant to say, happy to have you on the team. Haha... ha...
Stella: My name is Stella. This is Light and Alk. You are welcome to join us.
Cagliostro: See? That's more like it! I just know we're all going to be best friends forever!
Cagliostro forces Alk to take her on a tour of neighboring worlds. She learns much about the differences between her dimension and this new realm. After returning to Starview Village, she gifts Alk with some freshly alchemized syrup.
Alk: Aaah, what a nice day.
Alk: No chores, no quests... I've needed a little R&R for a long—
Cagliostro: My big, strong Aaaalk! Found you!
Alk: ...Never mind.
Cagliostro: Hi, Alk! Would you please come with me for a bit?
Alk: Would you let me go if I said no?
Cagliostro: Sure wouldn't! And how could you turn down the world's cutest girl?
Alk: Okay, fine. I'll go with you. What do you have in mind?
Cagliostro: Nothing too crazy! Just a world tour.
Alk: This is the first world we visited together.
Cagliostro: There's power in the air here. Lots of it. Is it coming from that excessively large tree?
Alk: The Spirit Tree? Yeah. Regitare cultivated it—and this forest to boot.
Cagliostro: Did they now? Just who is this Regitare? An immortal of some sort?
Alk: Um. More like "unmortal." He's not alive anymore.
Cagliostro: Ah, he's undead? Seems you've got your own share of interesting specimens.
Cagliostro: Well, that's enough of this area. Come, Alk! To the next place!
Alk: Well... If you're sure...
Cagliostro: Yuck, it's so hot!
Cagliostro: What's the big idea, Alk?! Why would you bring me here?!
Alk: Because you forced me to!
Cagliostro: That's no excuse! But whatever. Let's move on.
Alk: What?! But we just got here!
Cagliostro: Hmm... It's as I predicted. It's small, but there's something fundamentally different.
Cagliostro: Alk. I'm done. Take me back to Starview Village—
Cagliostro: Oh. Are you enjoying yourself?
Alk: Yeah. Just tickled to death!
Cagliostro: *sigh* Fine. Try not to get fried... Ars Magna!
Alk: Aaaaah!
Alk: I can't keep doing this...
Cagliostro: I've seen worms with more spine than you! But, eh, at least you helped me confirm my hypothesis.
Alk: Your hypothesis?
Cagliostro: You're looking at an anomaly among anomalies. Completely untethered to your reality.
Cagliostro: The world's you've traveled, I'll admit they've all got their quirks. But the differences are superficial.
Cagliostro: My dimension is made of completely separate stuff. And we certainly don't have any World Flippers.
Alk: Um... How can you be so sure? Maybe you just didn't know they were there.
Cagliostro: I've lived for 2000 years. My conclusions are never wrong.
Alk: Whoa, 2000 years...
Cagliostro: Did I not mention that? I transmuted this body using alchemy.
Alk: Wait, you CREATED your body?
Cagliostro: After all, achieving the perfect form requires unnatural levels of cuteness!
Alk: Uh-hunh...
Cagliostro: Though it seems I'm not able to wield my full powers here. Not yet, at least.
Cagliostro: While we were out today, I took readings of each world's composition. It should only be a matter of time before my powers return.
Cagliostro: But until then, I shall uncover all the mysteries of your dimension, leaving no truth unexplored!
Alk: Oh man... I'm starting to have second and third thoughts about letting her onto the team...
Cagliostro: Thanks for your service today. Here's your reward. Be grateful.
Alk: Uh? What is this?
Cagliostro: It's Cagliostro's super, duper, homemade syrup! Alchemized with extra sweetness! Make me a delicious cake, okay?
Alk: Syrup? Don't you mean honey? But this looks different...
Cagliostro: I made it in my spare time. Your hobby IS cooking, right?
Cagliostro: Then it's the perfect reward. Don't forget to let me try your creations after you use it.
Alk: I've never been paid with syrup before. She even put a ribbon on it.
Alk: Haha. She sure makes things lively.
Cagliostro is researching the Nexus when she's found by Light. She explains she's examining the sophisticated machinery, prompting Light to wish for a battle ready body. She reminds the old hero that he's already capable, despite his form.
Cagliostro: Intriguing. If the compositional analysis is to be believed, then... Could the soul? No, that's preposterous...
Cagliostro: There are some procedural differences, but this technology and alchemy are cut from the same cloth.
Light: Cagliostro. I hoped to speak with you. Why did you come to this realm—
Light: ...What is this place?
Cagliostro: Ah, if it isn't the old hero himself.
Cagliostro: It's called the Nexus, apparently. The breeding ground for those robotic folk —the droids.
Light: Why are you interested in a place like this?
Cagliostro: Creating a homunculus, building a robot—both require forming a body. Be it of flesh or metal.
Cagliostro: How could I not be taken by such a workshop? Some peon tipped me off to its existence. Appreciative though I am.
Light: ...I will speak to him later.
Cagliostro: Shut it and watch this. Quantum Scan, activate.
Unknown Voice: The future is only a step away! Would you like to begin the bioscan process?
Unknown Voice: Pleasebeinformedthatbioscaninforma tioncannotbetracedbacktotheindividu alandiskeptforstatisticalpurposesonly, allrightsreservedby—
Light: What foul creation is this!
Cagliostro: A droid maker. But it can use actual mortals as blueprints too.
Light: It creates life? Did the people of this land think themselves gods?
Cagliostro: Hah. When were you born again? That type of mindset is so old-fashioned.
Cagliostro: That's why everybody can tell you're so stinky and old. Hehe...
Light: Those who live in millennia-old glass houses shouldn't throw stones...
Cagliostro: I have an ingenious proposition. What if I create a new body for you once I've fully recovered my powers?
Cagliostro: I could craft an absolutely adorable vessel—though it wouldn't have anything on mine.
Cagliostro: Or, if you're feeling impatient, we could build you a metal frame right here.
Cagliostro: I'd transfer your soul using alchemy— and though I can't guarantee your safety, I'm sure the whole process would be amusing.
Light: ...Neither is a bad choice.
Cagliostro: Huh?
Light: Both a young girl and a droid can wield a sword. My form, as it is now, can do nothing...
Light: I can only watch as Alk, Stella, and even you strive to send me home. ...It's shameful.
Cagliostro: Ugh! Spare me your old man whining!
Cagliostro: You want your original body back, right? Then work for it! Nothing's a walk in the park, yeesh.
Light: Yes... That's true.
Cagliostro: It doesn't matter if you're made of cotton and rainbows, you can ALWAYS contribute.
Cagliostro: You've got your two pupils, right? What's that old saying again? Those who can't do teach? I mean it in the nicest way possible, of course.
Light: Of course. ...Thank you for listening to me.
Cagliostro: Tsk. Thank me by wiping that glum look of your face.
Light: Alk was right. Your words are barbed, but you possess a kind heart.
Light: There is only one thing you had wrong. They are not my pupils—they are my hope.
Light: But it's as you said... There is still much for me to do.
Cagliostro: Argh, I can't stand these old men...
Cagliostro: Always driving me crazy...