Sakura Minamoto (Zombie Land Saga Collab)/Stories
With the help of Stella and Alk, Sakura puts on her first solo live performance. After the concert, she has a photo shoot event with fans, but a rude audience member starts trouble. Luckily, with a bit of death metal screaming and head banging, the troublemaker is scared off while the true fans join in on the fun.
Sakura: But why do I have to do THAT?
Tatsumi: This isn't twenty questions! Get going!
Alk: What's up, you two? We could hear you shouting from all the way over there.
Sakura: Kotaro-san got me a gig out of nowhere and wants me to perform right now...
Stella: But don't you like performing?
Sakura: Not alone! I'd have to go out there all by myself!
Tatsumi: Well, you're gonna have to, because we couldn't get Franchouchou's whole lineup to show!
Sakura: Don't you think you're raising the bar too high? I haven't even performed solo back in OUR Saga!
Stella: Would you feel better if we came with you?
Sakura: You'd do that... for me? I wouldn't want to be a bother though...
Alk: We don't really have any plans today. Besides, we'd never abandon a friend in need.
Tatsumi: H'okay, now that you're not heading off alone, no more complaints!
Tatsumi: It's time to GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
Sakura: Geez... Why are you like this...
Sakura: Thanks for coming, everyone! We've got another event coming up right after this, so please stick around!
Stella: Sakura, that was amazing. You were incredible.
Sakura: Thanks! *giggle* You're too kind.
Sakura: Not gonna lie... I'm still kinda nervous about the rest of today.
Alk: Is there something else you have to do?
Sakura: Yeah, I have a photo shoot event with the fans.
Stella: What is that?
Sakura: It's this nice little thing we idols do, where we take photos with fans using a camera like this. It prints out the photos right away.
Sakura: I guess it'd be easier just to show you! Come stand by me, Stella.
Stella: It's you and me...
Stella: Sakura, I would like to come to your photo shoot event.
Sakura: You're more than welcome to!
Alk: Please wait your turn in a calm and orderly fashion! Will the next person in line come on up?
Bashful Fan: This is my first time going to one of these... I-it's nice to meet you.
Sakura: Nice to meet you too! Thanks for coming! Are you ready? Say cheese!
Bashful Fan: Th-thanks... I'll treasure it forever! I promise to be at your next event, Number 1!
Sakura: I appreciate the support! Can't wait to see you there!
Alk: Next person, please come up!
Ruffian: Y'know, I'm one of your biggest fans... You should throw in a little extra something for our photo.
Sakura: Um... Do I even want to know what that means?
Ruffian: Just a little hug won't hurt anybody, right? I paid to be here, so I expect some quality service.
Alk: Excuse me, sir... I'm afraid that—
Stella: This is absolutely unacceptable. The exit is that way.
Ruffian: ...What'd you just say to me?
Sakura: U-uh, Stella, you should be a little more careful with your phrasing—
Ruffian: How dare you speak like that to a paying customer! Do you even know who I AM?!
Alk: Sir, we're still in the middle of an event. If you could please—
Ruffian: The hell was your name... Number 1? Who do you think you are, talking down to ME?!
Sakura: Wha... But I didn't even say anything—
Ruffian: But you're an idol or whatever, yeah? I bet you've got some dough in your pockets.
Sakura: Uhhh, ummm...
Ruffian: You wanna take this to court, or you wanna make it up to me right now?
Sakura: ...Grrraaaaaghhhh!
Ruffian: Huh?! What're you screaming like a banshee for—
Sakura: GRRAAAAAHHH!
Ruffian: Eek?!
Sakura: AAAAGGHHH! GRRAAAAGHH!
Alk: ...Am I going crazy, or is this actually happening? Does anyone else hear that weird music?
Stella: Tatsumi told me to play that track if we ever ended up in a pinch.
Sakura: GAAAAAAAAGHH!
Ruffian: What the hell is WRONG with you?!
Sakura: OOOOOGGRAAAAGH!
Audience: OOOOOGAAAAA!
Alk: ...Guess no one's interested in a photo shoot anymore. They're too busy rocking out!
Stella: Sakura is amazing. This must be what a true idol is like.
Alk: Uh... Sure... Let's go with that.
Sakura: OOOOGGRAAAAAH!
Tatsumi makes Sakura hand out tissue packets labeled with ads for her next event. Alk and Stella help out, and things go well until the rowdy audience member from the other day shows up. In the following commotion, Sakura's head is knocked off, but quick thinking on Stella's part turns the incident into an advertising success.
Sakura: *sigh* I don't know what came over me...
Stella: You were very impressive. It was a one-of-a-kind experience.
Alk: Besides, you got a ton of publicity from it. Palpebra's practically buzzing with your name.
Sakura: You say that like I should be happy about it! Now everyone must think I'm some kind of weirdo!
Tatsumi: No time for depression, Sakura!
Tatsumi: We need to drum up even more press. Take these and hand them out!
Sakura: Are these... tissue packets? With the little ads in the packaging?
Tatsumi: Impressive, right? They look exactly like the ones back home.
Tatsumi: Took a lot of effort to get them prepped, but I had a feeling we'd need them in this Saga too!
Tatsumi: I have factories mass producing them right now! Aren't I AMAZING! AHAHAHA!
Alk: Hey, these are actually a pretty good idea. I always end up using 'em since they're so convenient.
Sakura: I'm an idol, not a part-timer that you hired to do your job for you!
Tatsumi: Look closer, stupid head! These ads are for the restaurant that's sponsoring your next concert! So no complaining!
Alk: Huh, he's not lying. This has text and art for the local burger joint.
Sakura: ...W-well, if it's for my next performance, I guess I've gotta do whatever I can.
Tatsumi: That's the spirit! Now get to work.
Sakura: Wait, you want me to hand these out right NOW? A little warning beforehand would've been nice!
Tatsumi: You want to repay our generous sponsor by being lazy? No? Then you better work up a sweat and pass these out!
Sakura: When you put it that way...
Stella: I look forward to handing these tissues out.
Sakura: Come for food and music at Burger Karatsu! Our special concert is starting soon!
Sakura: You won't want to miss the tasty burgers at Burger Karatsu!
Alk: You'd think more people would want free tissues, but we're not getting many takers...
Stella: Maybe there's a more efficient way than handing out each packet one by one.
Sakura: That's probably true, but the goal here isn't to empty our stock as fast as possible.
Sakura: How do I put it... We need the people to remember our faces too.
Sakura: That's why you've gotta go at it with all you've got! Put some heart into your efforts, you know?
Stella: I believe I understand.
Stella: Let us continue then.
Sakura: Come see us at Burger Karatsu for tasty food and awesome music! Oh! Thank you very much!
Alk: That's almost all our tissues. You made the right call, Sakura.
Stella: This girl here is Number 2, and this one here is Number 3.
Townsperson: I... I see...
Sakura: That... is not what I meant when I said they needed to "remember our faces"...
Ruffian: Well, well!
Ruffian: If it isn't Number 1! You sure put on a show the other day.
Sakura: That is NOT a face I wanted to see again! What do we do?!
Alk: Some people just dunno when to give up! Let's get outta here!
Ruffian: You actually think I'm gonna let you go?
Sakura: Eep!
Sakura: Huh?
Alk: Oh boy...
Ruffian: Eeeeek! I didn't sign up for THIS!
Sakura: Uh, hey... Why can't I move?
Alk: Your head popped off when you fell over! We gotta get you fixed up before anyone else sees—
Townsperson: Is that... a dead body?
Townsperson: What happened here?
Alk: Shoot, too late for that! Think fast, guys—
Stella: I have an idea.
Stella: Everyone, please pay attention. Sakura, this is your cue.
Sakura: Huh?! Uh... Well... Please come visit us at Burger Karatsu! We've got great food and music waiting!
Sakura: I'm an idol from the group Franchouchou! We're so passionate about our music, we "lose our heads" over it! Haha! Ha!
Stella: We hope you enjoyed the illusion show.
Townsperson: Ohhh, it was all a performance...
Townsperson: Totally fooled me. That burger place really upped their ad game.
Alk: I can't believe they bought it...
Sakura: Phew! You're a lifesaver, Stella. I totally thought my secret was out...
Stella: They will remember us now, won't they?
Sakura: I don't think they could forget us, even if they wanted to! It was super effective!
Sakura: Let's keep up the good work!
On the day of the concert, monsters wreak havoc on the area, but are eventually chased off by Sakura, Alk, and Stella. Just when it seems like the whole event is going to be cancelled, Sakura and Stella run off to advertise some more. With Tatsumi and Alk pitching in as well, their combined efforts result in a full house for an amazing show.
Sakura: *hum* Mmmm, mm, mmm!
Stella: You're in a good mood.
Sakura: Well, of course I am! The concert's today!
Sakura: I do wish everyone else was here too, but... I'm ready to do what I can! We should have a decent crowd from the tissue promotion.
Alk: I bet we will. We worked our butts off, after all!
Stella: We'll support you however we can.
Shopkeep: AAAAAHHH!
Sakura: Mr. Manager! What's going on?!
Shopkeep: M-monsters popped up outta nowhere and started swarming the food!
Alk: Don't worry, we'll handle this—
Sakura: What do you think you're doing?! Bad monster! BAD!
Sakura: Look at how much trouble you're causing for everyone! Shame on you! Now scram! Shoo!
Alk: That is NOT SAFE! Get back! We can handle this!
Sakura: Grr... Wait... AHHHH!
Stella: Perfect form.
Alk: This isn't the time to be complimenting her wrestling moves!
Sakura: Eek! S-stay away!
Alk: Phew... That should be all of them. I think we're in the clear.
Shopkeep: Thank you so, so much... Not a single one of us got hurt because of your efforts.
Shopkeep: But I don't think there's any salvaging the event...
Sakura: I can help with the clean up and prep! Just please... Don't cancel the concert!
Shopkeep: Well, the thing is... We might have trouble convincing people to show up, considering all the hubbub.
Sakura: Then I'll head to town and let everyone know the concert's still on!
Sakura: I'm sure they'll come, now that it's completely safe!
Sakura: Come join us at Burger Karatsu! We've got a huge event today, and you won't want to miss it!
Stella: The monster situation has been taken care of. Rest assured, your safety is guaranteed.
Sakura: I appreciate the assist, Stella. We'll reel them in yet!
Stella: I am more than happy to help.
Stella: Your persistence is inspiring.
Sakura: To be fair... The old me would've given up at the first sign of trouble.
Sakura: But the idol I wanna be now would never let anything keep her down!
Stella: ...I see.
Sakura: Ahaha, I'm just parroting what Ai-chan said before though.
Sakura: Anyway, let's keep going! We've still got a little more time until the event starts!
Sakura: We did all we could. Hopefully it was enough...
Stella: I am certain at least a few people will come.
Sakura: Well, even if it's not ideal, I'll do my best! Just watch me!
Stella: Of course. My eyes will be trained on you.
Shopkeep: There you are! Better hurry and get changed—crowd's been waiting!
Sakura: So some people did show up! Thank goodness... I'll go get dressed!
Shopkeep: Some? Didn't you just hear me say "crowd"? We've got a full house!
Sakura: Wait, really?!
Alk: *gasp* We... made it...
Sakura: Why... do you guys look exhausted?
Alk: I went to Palpebra to do a bit of advertising on my own. Couldn't let you two do all the work, you know?
Alk: Tatsumi came up to help about halfway through.
Tatsumi: I just happened to be passing by. Besides, it'd be a waste to cancel the event I prepped so much for!
Sakura: You guys!
Tatsumi: HEY! Who gave you permission to stand around doing nothing? You have a performance to put on!
Stella: Go on. We will be watching.
Sakura: Yeah... Yeah! Stella, kick back and enjoy the show!
Sakura: I'll do my best to shine like the idol I want to be!
Stella: I look forward to it!
Alk: Sorry to keep you waiting! It's about time we kicked things off!
Sakura: GOOD MORNING, SAGA!