Regis (Flipperversary)/Stories
Alk and co. accompany a newly outfitted Regis to a recently-opened street stall in Palpebra. After saying that Alk reminds him of Dia, Regis is pressed on the matter by Stella. Regis muses on the meaning of "love", concluding that we are free to decide its meaning for ourselves. Later, Regis is seen skulking about with a mysterious man.
Regis: I've got a favor to ask of you.
Light: No.
Regis: Now hold on just a moment! This is nothing more than a simple matter of miscommunication!
Regis: Look—feast your eyes on THIS: My NEW and improved body frame. I'll hold for applause.
Alk: Why do I get the feeling this is gonna lead to some sort of a hassle for us...
Regis: Goodness. DO try to contain your enthusiasm.
Regis: Anyway. I hear there's a celebration in Palpebra, so I've dressed accordingly. I'm raring to go!
Regis: How about it, Alk, mon ami? Shall we spend an unforgettable night together?
Light: That's it, I'm calling the Guild Knights.
Alk: Haha... Poor guy clearly just wants some attention.
Regis: Now this is spectacular! The air is filled not with exhaust fumes, but with the PASSION exuded by organics!
Regis: Oh. And that smell. No, that AROMA!
Regis: Why yes, I DID also equip myself with olfactory sensors, thank you for asking. Oh, and taste buds too!
Burly Shopkeep: Well, well! If it isn't Mr. Regis! Out sightseeing with your pals, are you?
Regis: Hello again, good sir! How's that beauty I procured for you a while back?
Burly Shopkeep: Oh, she's just splendid! Gets things heated up REAL good, I'm telling you!
Regis: Excellent—do be sure to use her to your heart's content!
Light: Excuse me?! Just WHAT are you up to, exactly?
Regis: Whatever do you mean? I'm bringing happiness to the people of Palpebra—that is my modus operandi, after all!
Alk: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Cut the fluff and just tell us what's going on!
Alk: An automatic heating device that makes use of vibrations?
Burly Shopkeep: You got it. Basically you just pop some food in, press a button and BAM—you've got yourself a warm meal.
Burly Shopkeep: Now I don't have to worry about overcooking anything! Even someone like me can prepare food!
Regis: Electromagnetic radiation induces vibration in the surrounding water molecules, heating the object! It honestly never occurred to me to use this device for cooking purposes before.
Alk: Oh. So it's... a microwave.
Burly Shopkeep: Mr. Regis was kind enough to help cover my costs for starting up this shop, too! I guess that makes him the owner, heh.
Burly Shopkeep: Since you're his pals, your meal's on the house! This recipe is courtesy of our very own Mr. Regis. The "perfect" meal, according to him!
Alk: Uh... This... Um...
Regis: What's the matter, Alk? You look like a man confronted with the insignificance of his mortal life.
Nimbus: ...You're eating first.
Regis: I'd be thrilled to have the privilege of first taste. How incredibly kind of you, Nimbus! I didn't know you had shed your previous gruff persona—unless of course, your motives are less than pure...
Nimbus: Shut up and eat the soup, rusty.
Regis: Haha, please do not rush me, my furry friend! I of COURSE want to finally make use of my new digestion function—to taste a whole new world!
Regis: O-oh... ...!
Regis: OH... OH?
Regis: *gulp*
Regis: EXCELLENT!
Nimbus: You've gotta be kidding me!
Regis: I am not—it's sublime! An indescribable taste that has rocked me to my CORE processor. What tang, what zest, what wonderful PUNGENCY!
Regis: Yes, I do believe this dish has granted me access to new SPIRITUAL and intellectual heights!
Regis: So THIS is the power of "food"...
Alk: No! It isn't!
Regis: What do you mean? But this sensation... It's like I witnessed the birth of a star—no, its end! Like a violent supernova in my mouth!
Alk: Food is not "spiritual", and it DEFINITELY shouldn't make anything in your mouth explode. Not usually, anyway.
Regis: I see... Perhaps the food you are used to offers a different experience. In that case, I think I would like to try YOUR cooking!
Regis: I want it inside of me, Alk. All of it!
Alk: WHY DID YOU PHRASE IT LIKE THAT?
Nimbus: Okay, we're ditching this guy, pronto. Let's get something else to eat.
Stella: You looked like you were having a lot of fun, Regis.
Regis: Indeed. Adding on a gustatory cortex was the right move after all—I have all sorts of new sensations to experience!
Stella: Not that. I meant talking with Alk.
Regis: Oh, is that so? Well, I won't deny the possibility. He DOES remind me of Dia. Just a tad.
Stella: So, you like him.
Stella: Is that "love"?
Regis: Stella, my dear... What would I know of that? There are many types of love... Is it the romantic variant? Who's to say...
Regis: We're free to interpret "love" in whatever way we please, wouldn't you say?
Stella: I still don't know very much about the topic... But yes, I think so.
Regis: That's just the answer I expected from you.
Regis: Nice of you to show up. I've been waiting so long I thought my software would go out of date.
Regis: I've procured all the items you requested. I'd like to emphasize the great trouble I went through to evade the eyes of the Guild...
Mysterious Man: Congratulations, you did your job. Do you want a cookie or something?
Regis: No, I do not.
Regis: Heh-heh. I suppose this much needed to be done, if I'm to participate in the festivities.
Regis: Will they be peeved, I wonder?
Regis's new stall venture encounters a snag when other merchants begin interfering in his operation. Regis asks for Alk's help to teach the shop owner how to cook more delicious food. Alk agrees and enlists the aid of Shirano to do so. Regis and Nimbus, meanwhile, head to the merchant and blackmail him. Afterward, Regis tries the shopkeeper's new dish and is delighted at its taste, comparing the sensation to a song.
Alk: Oh man, street food is so great. So much different stuff you don't normally get a chance to eat!
Nimbus: Yeah, but every once in a while you get some weird mystery meat...
Burly Shopkeep: Huh? No way! I told you I don't have it, didn't I?
Alk: Isn't that the guy who was running a store with Regis?
Nimbus: ...Should we take 'em out?
Regis: Let's hold off on that, please. There are in fact rules when it comes to doing business, you know.
Regis: Those men work for some REAL big fish... Merchants who've got their digits sunk deep into the Guild. One wrong move and you could be kicked out of Palpebra!
Nimbus: What's all the fuss about anyway? They're really goin' at it.
Regis: Allow me to step in and help the fellow out. I'll fill you in on the details later.
Alk: Debt collectors, huh?
Regis: Yes. As you know, our legendary trademark soup has garnered atrocious reviews from the locals. Sales are in a slump, to say the least.
Regis: How is a man to pay his debts when no one will buy his wonderful soup?!
Alk: Seems like a pretty clear-cut case to me. What is there to argue about?
Nimbus: Seriously, just close down the shop already.
Regis: Close down? No, no, no. Listen, I suppose not paying your debts IS technically "immoral"... But economics is a MUCH more subtle and nuanced beast than that!
Regis: Have you not heard of INVESTMENT? It's simple really, you supply funds to a venture, hoping that it will grow! Up-and-coming businesses need a helping hand to get started, that's all!
Alk: Those guys didn't look like they were here to help.
Regis: A debt you can't collect on is a big blow to any investor. But here's the rub—those loan sharks are COUNTING on him not being able to pay.
Nimbus: Huh. So they saddled him with debt cause they wanted the shop to fail?
Regis: Exactly! And the reason for that is that word got out I was the one financing the shop! I'm being targeted, you see, hah-hah!
Alk: That sounds very much like a YOU problem.
Regis: Ah, but Alk, mon ami... Perhaps you could nonetheless lend your pal Regis a hand in this matter?
Regis: With your incredible cooking skills, I know you can make a master chef out of my man here! Get him to cook delectable—and PROFITABLE—dishes!
Alk: Um... I... *sigh* Listen, just 'cause I can cook a few recipes doesn't mean I can cut it in a market as competitive as this—
Regis: Is that so? Hmm, and here I thought you had what it TOOK. Shopkeep, give this brilliant young boy some words of encouragement!
Burly Shopkeep: Listen, Mr. Alk... I'd be super grateful if you would just try! It won't do any harm, right?
Alk: I... Uh... Well...
Alk: Okay... But, I don't think I can do this alone. I'm going to need to call for backup.
Shirano: But of course I'll assist you. I wouldn't pass up on an opportunity to instruct someone in the wonderful art of cooking!
Burly Shopkeep: You mean my teacher is gonna be a cute little fox?!
Shirano: Excuse me! That's no way to refer to a lady—much less your cooking MASTER. From this day on, you are my disciple. Behave accordingly!
Regis: Well I'll be. A yokai chef. Your connections in other worlds never cease to amaze me.
Nimbus: So. We off to the next place, or?
Regis: My, you have a good sense for these things. I take it you're coming along?
Nimbus: Heh, I knew there was no way that's all you had up your sleeve. Besides, there's nothing for me to do here.
Gangster: G-god damn you! The hell are you doing here?
Merchant: Mr. Register... I would have thought you droids had better memory than that—didn't I say no violence?
Regis: You'll have to excuse that little outburst there, it was really quite unavoidable. Your man shot first, so to speak.
Regis: Besides, I've come to talk business. Though I hope you'll forgive me when I ask that it be done fairly this time around.
Merchant: Fairly? You mean like paying someone when you said you would? That kind of "fair"?
Regis: I was more referring to going explicitly out of your way to interfere with the operations of a business I've invested in. That type of "fair".
Merchant: Listen here, Mr. Register. We have a very specific way of doing things here in the Guild, if you catch my drift. You... don't fit in here.
Regis: Orbital bits, activate.
Regis: And voilà!
Hologram: "We have a very specific way of doing things here in the Guild, if you catch my drift. You... don't fit in here."
Merchant: Wh-what?!
Regis: And this, my technologically unsavvy friend, is what we call a "recording"! In this day and age, you really do have to be careful what you say out loud, you know.
Hologram: Bye daddy! Have a good day at work!
Hologram: When are you going to finally divorce your wife, huh?
Merchant: What the hell is the meaning of this?!
Regis: When it comes to underhanded tactics, you're going to have trouble besting me, dear sir. Regardless, I meant it when I said I'd play fair.
Regis: I have a new proposal for you—one which just might be worth your time.
Nimbus: Which one of you was the bad guy again? It's honestly hard to tell sometimes.
Regis: Hahaha. I trust you'll be kind enough to not mention this to our friend Alk?
Alk: Welcome back. Done with your shady activities for the day?
Regis: Sh-shady? Was it that obvious? Wait a moment. All these customers... How?
Regis: What sort of magic did you use to pull this off?
Alk: The magical power of miso soup!
Alk: I asked Shirano for a recipe so easy even a beginner couldn't mess it up—and she suggested miso soup!
Alk: So, here you go. Miso soup—with pork! Give it a try!
Regis: Aah... I see. So THIS is what it means to taste something delicious.
Alk: Right, that must be a first for you. What's it like?
Regis: It's like... a song.
Alk: I don't think I've ever heard miso soup described that way, but sure.
Regis: I mean it.
Regis: This tastes... incredible.
Suspicious of Regis's activities, Dia decides to do some P.I. work and follow him. She's found out almost immediately, and asked to accompany Regis somewhere. After picking many white flowers, the group goes to the Administrator's resting place, to decorate her grave. Regis considers his feelings toward his former master, and is gently chided by Stella using his own words.
Dia: Nope, no way. I don't believe it for a second.
Dia: We're talking about Regis here! No way he's the lead in a heartwarming story like this, nuh-uh.
Alk: Now that you mention it, I guess there WAS something... odd about him the whole time.
Alk: I wonder what his endgame is?
Nimbus: I dunno about endgame, but I'm pretty sure he's got something going on with the merchants of Palpebra.
Dia: See! There it is! I knew it. That no-good droid is up to something sneaky!
Dia: Hmm... We should look into this. Let's follow him!
Alk: F-follow him? You sure about that?
Dia: Yep, absolutely. Someone needs to teach him what it means to have your privacy invaded!
Alk: Sounds like this is personal for you...
Stella: But it also sounds fun.
Dia: I know, right?!
Dia: Ohhh, he is just SO suspicious. Everything about him screams he's up to no good. And what's with the white outfit, anyway? Is he going to a wedding?!
Alk: Yeah, this is definitely personal.
Regis: My, my. Trying to pin false accusations on moi, are you?
Regis: Dia, my dear. You're really not suited for the work of a private eye, you know that?
Regis: I can read you like a book—even without this remote bit to spy on you.
Dia: Wh-what?! No way, you had shared optical sensors installed on your bits?!
Dia: Isn't that technically a neural expansion?! Those are ILLEGAL, you know!
Regis: Rules, my dear, are meant to be broken. Besides, who's going to enforce them now that the Administrator's gone?
Regis: That aside, if you have such a keen interest in my personal enterprise, why not come along with me and see for yourself?
Regis: This matter concerns all of you, after all.
Alk: Did you grow these by yourself, Regis?
Regis: Not quite. I replanted them—though I did go through quite an ordeal getting them here in such a short time.
Dia: White flowers. She did say she liked those.
Regis: Will you join us too?
Dia: I think I'll pass. I've been already.
Dia: Plus, there are things you can't talk about around me, right? It's better that I wasn't there.
Regis: Hmm. Perhaps that is true.
Dia: Sorry, you two, but would you be willing to keep Regis company for this? It's hard for him to do this on his own. He gets blue.
Dia: I'll be waiting in Starview!
Alk: He gets blue, huh...
Regis: I would indeed be most grateful if you joined me, mes amis!
Stella: We're supposed to just pick a flower?
Regis: Not just one—as many as you can hold in your hands!
Alk: Oh, I see... This is her grave.
Regis: That's right. Despite what you might think, we too have beliefs surrounding the spirits and souls of the dead.
Regis: She loved white flowers.
Regis: Real flowers haven't grown on our planet for a long time—not since the day fire rained from the sky.
Regis: So I had to bring real ones from elsewhere—secretly borrowing the World Flipper to do so, of course.
Regis: This was actually the "enterprise" I was talking about. I plan to sell flowers to androids. Not a bad idea, right?
Stella: Regis, did you love her?
Regis: Hmm. Who knows... Can you really say that you loved someone who you hated, blamed, and even killed?
Stella: Someone once told me that we are free to interpret what "love" means to us.
Regis: Hahaha. Touché, my dear! You're right.
Regis: It's just difficult for me to be honest about my feelings.
Regis: *sigh*
Regis: We should get going. If we don't get back soon, our little canary is likely to give us quite the chirping!
Regis: Farewell, Administrator.