Noenne/Stories
Hard Rock Magic, a 3-piece idol unit, suddenly finds itself in Starview Village. When Alk and company come to investigate the newcomers, HRM mistakes the heroes for foes, but Nimbus puts a stop to the commotion. Afterwards, Noenne explains the BRASS competition and HRM's unfortunate defeat.
???: We lost...
???: We sure did. We were like fish out of water.
???: In the end I couldn't cut the idol mustard...
Earful Girl: Waaaa! I hate this! I hate this so much! But I hate that dumb boar girl even more!
Earful Girl: Celtie, Kapipi! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I failed you both!
Kapipi: Don't cry, Noenne. Your tears won't change what happened. We're all to blame for the result.
Kapipi: More importantly... Celtie, what's going on here? Is this what happens to the losers?
Celtie: How should I know! This is my first time facing such a crushing defeat!
Kapipi: Ah. Then prayer is our best option./nHold onto your butts. Amen.
Noenne: I REFUSE!
Noenne: I refuse to give up! I don't want it to be over! Not yet... not yet!
Celtie: *Huff* Well, I see your voice is still capable of shaking me to my very ectoplasm...
Kapipi: Hahaha! That's some good news! Go ahead, let it all out, Noenne!
Kapipi: If you feel like screaming, then you should scream with all your heart and soul!
Noenne: I want you, me... I want us all...
Noenne: To be the very best idols!
Light: Someone's coming!
Nimbus: Hehe. Let's see what kind of green paws are gonna crashland this time.
Noenne: I PROMISE YOU BOTH!
Noenne: Bwuh? What is this place?
Light: Oof... What was that sound?
Kapipi: The Cosmic Beast of the Hare! Gods damn us, we're in hare country! Celtie, hurry!
Celtie: Idol Field, release!
Noenne: Hold on! Another battle? But there's not even any music!
Kapipi: Save your jabbering for later! Enemies first!
Celtie: Battle Royale: All Star Smash, loading complete! No escape from crossing fate! GO!
Noenne: Time to bring the heat, team! Sing and dance your hearts out!
Alk: Uh, are we supposed to do something?
Light: Don't look at me. I'm just as confused.
Stella: Perhaps we should play along?
Alk: Excuse me... Could we talk?
Noenne: This is an idol battle, with our kingdom's honor on the line! What could we possibly have to say to our enemy?! Dance already!
Alk: Nope. Guess not.
Stella: A shame.
Noenne: COME ON! Where's your idol platform?!
Kapipi: Noenne! The first strike is ours! Let them hear your shout!
Noenne: Don't mind if I do! *Inhale!*
Noenne: RAAAAAAAH!
Alk: Ugh! What is that voice?!
Light: My head... feels like it's splitting... AAGH!
Kapipi: Keep it up! Either we die or they do! It's down to the last rodent standing!
Nimbus: Tch... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Noenne: Eep!
Nimbus: Finally, that shut you up! What's with the screaming?!
Noenne: Ouch... Yeeeoowch! That huuurt!
Nimbus: I barely touched you...
Celtie: How very dare you! Direct contact during an idol battle is strictly prohibited by section 1 of the BRASS codes of conduct!
Kapipi: Wait! Are you the Cosmic Beast of the tigers? Why have you joined forces with the hares?! A-and how do you walk on two legs?!
Noenne: Waaaaaah!
Stella: Nimbus, that was mean!
Alk: Well, this has been quite the morning...
Noenne: *Munch, munch* This is scrumptious!
Noenne: What-what-what is in this? It's the best omelet I've ever had!
Alk: Ahaha. It's just cheese!
Light: Back to the matter at hand... You said your defeat at this Battle Royale event caused you to appear here?
Kapipi: Battle Royale: All Star Smash, to be precise. Or BRASS for short. You folk truly don't know about it?
Celtie: It's a competition between twelve states, who conduct diplomacy through song and dance battles. Idol warfare to prevent idle warfare, if you will.
Noenne: That's the gist of it!
Kapipi: We're a group called Hard Rock Magic, and we lost one such bout. Now we find ourselves here.
Kapipi: Fallen to an absurd little world.
Nimbus: YOU'RE the weird ones here.
Light: I can understand how you feel... Lost in a strange land, regret turning your stomach inside out.
Light: Noenne, Kapipi, Celtie. If it pleases you, why don't you join us?
Noenne: Bwuh? Is there room in the band?
Kapipi: It could be a good opportunity. A distant world means the others can't interfere with us, and we could increase our following.
Celtie: What do you want to do, Noenne?
Noenne: I think... I think I want to stay here a little longer.
Kapipi: That settles it. We shall gladly accept your offer.
Nimbus: Uh, is the capybara your lawyer or something?
Stella: Allow me to officially welcome you, Hard Rock Magic, to Starview Village.
Noenne: Thank you very much! But, um...
Noenne: Can I get another one of these omelets?
Alk: Sure, I'll make you some other flavors.
Light: May I ask something more personal? It's been on my mind since you arrived.
Light: Celtie. It appears that you have no feet and you seem to be translucent. Does that make you, uh, you know...
Celtie: Dead? Yes, very much so.
Light: Heh! I thought so! Aheh...
Alk: (Maybe that was one question too much...)
Noenne reveals that her band doesn't know any songs with lyrics. Alk suggests meeting with Dia to help Noenne on her path to idol fame. She learns a trick or two from the songtress and immediately begins training with the rest of Hard Rock Magic.
Kapipi: One, two, three, four!
Noenne: RAAAAAAAH!
Nimbus: CUT THAT OUT!
Noenne: Ngrrh... Just where are we supposed to practice? Nimbus, you're so selfish!
Nimbus: Practice what? Murdering all of our ears?
Noenne: Meanie!
Celtie: It is true we haven't been able to increase our following.
Nimbus: Because you chase off anyone who wants to listen. Right to their graves.
Noenne: MEANIE!
Alk: He does have a point.
Alk: Why don't you just sing normally? Maybe something more lyrical and less screamy?
Kapipi: Alk. What a cruel thing to say.
Alk: What?!
Celtie: Back in Littleton, Hard Rock Magic...
Noenne: Look, we have no set list, okay!
Alk: Then how are you an idol group?
Noenne: Waaaaah! That's exactly what that dumb boar said!
Light: It's hard to imagine you could win a competition without at least a few songs under your belt.
Kapipi: Littleton is a small, weak country. We rarely qualified for BRASS, and when we did, we could never secure a win.
Kapipi: When Noenne volunteered to compete, all we could muster was a few dated music scores and me, a faithful Cosmic Beast as her retainer.
Celtie: I have neither breath in my longs, nor citizenship with a BRASS affiliate. But that's how badly Noenne needed another band mate.
Noenne: And now Celtie's our best member!
Kapipi: *Sigh* No one would choose this insane situation. But we make it work.
Nimbus: Not very well...
Stella: Shall we help you prepare some songs?
Noenne: Stella... You can compose music?
Stella: No. I certainly cannot. However...
Alk: Ah! I see where you're going with this! She IS an idol after all!
Stella: Yes, exactly.
Dia: Did you like my song?
Noenne: Whoa...
Noenne: Wait, no! It's time for a duel!
Dia: Huh?!
Noenne: Try this on for sizes! RAAAAAH!
Nimbus: Not again, monster mouth.
Noenne: Meep! What's the big idea?!
Nimbus: Cool it. We didn't come here to fight.
Noenne: But, but I can't take another defeat!
Noenne: How else will Celtie, Kapipi, and I make Hard Rock Magic the best idol group in the world?!
Dia: Aww. What a nice dream, Noenne.
Dia: I never actually wanted to be a singer myself.
Noenne: What! Are you crazy?!
Dia: But now it's different. I saw firsthand how my music can connect hearts and minds.
Noenne: How do you connect hearts?
Dia: Hmm... Noenne, why do you sing?
Dia: Never mind! I think we'll get to the root of the problem faster if we sing together!
Dia: And, besides, performing a duet together is a whole ton of fun!
Celtie: Go ahead, Noenne.
Kapipi: Yeah. Make her into your biggest fan!
Noenne: Okay, let's do this! We're going to sing our hearts out!
Dia: Hehe!
Singing Voice: La...
Noenne: La la la... Rah-rah la!
Nimbus: Hahaha. What kind of song was that?
Nimbus: Something new you guys cooked up?
Noenne: We didn't make it alone! Old Mister Metal lent us a hand with the music.
Noenne: And then Dia helped make the vocals work with the rhythm and the melody.
Noenne: B-But we're just getting warmed up! You got a problem?!
Nimbus: What? No! It was a nice song.
Nimbus: Well, you could probably cut the random "rah-rah" part.
Noenne: WHAAAT?! Can you believe him?!
Noenne: Well, whatever... Back to rehearsal!
Noenne: La la la... Rah-rah la!
At Noenne's request, Alk becomes Hard Rock Magic's producer. He enlists Suizen to help him. The young spiritualist recognizes the similarity between HRM's origin and traditional zodiac legend, causing him to confront Celtie. Noenne shows up to defend her bandmate, solidifying HRM's bond.
Noenne: You need a title.
Alk: What?
Noenne: What do you mean what? Idols need managers! Their careers depend on it!
Alk: Aren't they called producers?
Noenne: Sure, call it whatever you want!
Kapipi: Thanks to Dia's help, our music is good to go. But we're still lacking in other areas.
Celtie: We need good management.
Noenne: Come on, Mr. Producer! Help us out!
Alk: Wait, who died and made me producer?
Noenne: Who cares? It's your lucky day.
Alk: I don't even know what a producer does!
Kapipi: I thought that'd be obvious. You'll be responsible for looking after Noenne.
Alk: Isn't making all of her meals enough?
Alk: I mean, if there's something I can do to help, I don't mind, but...
Noenne: Really?! Then it's official! Thank you, Mr. Producer!
Mr. Producer: All right, it's our first official meeting as Hard Rock Magic.
Stella: *Clap, clap, clap*
Celtie: Everyone please take a look at the agenda in front of you.
Mr. Producer: Starting from HRM'S goals... Number one: Return home. Number two: Grow as idols.
Mr. Producer: About goal number one... Any developments, Stella?
Stella: Currently we have located six worlds. However, none of the areas in question lead to Noenne's homeworld.
Stella: I suspect we will only be able to achieve our first goal once I have completed my starchart.
Mr. Producer: Then we'll have to get Light home first. Let's get that out of the way ASAP.
Light: Have I become no more than a side quest?!
Mr. Producer: Right, well, I guess that means we should prioritize our growth as idols. Lessons will be important, but...
Mr. Producer: Maybe we should focus on the spirit of the band first.
Nimbus: Spirit? Don't they have plenty of that?
Noenne: La la la, rah rah la!
Suizen: ...This is getting out of control.
Mr. Producer: It's okay! I won't let them wreck the stage or anything!
Suizen: Alk... Just what has possessed you?
Suizen: Your group has a talent for getting into trouble but...
Suizen: This time, I worry you're in over your heads. What was the name of that competition? BRASS?
Stella: Yes. It stands for Battle Royale: All Star Smash.
Suizen: How curious that the history of such a distant world would so closely resemble our zodiac legends...
Suizen: If my conjectures are on the money, SHE could be dangerous...
Suizen: Good evening. May we chat for a bit?
Celtie: Good evening. What may I do for you?
Suizen: I would like to know why you haven't moved on yet.
Suizen: You see, there's a legend that's rather famous on this world. A pitiable tale of a rat tricking a cat from entering the zodiac pantheon.
Suizen: And according to Kapipi, your feline country used to be one of the thirteen warring kingdoms.
Celtie: So you know...
Noenne: STOP THIS!
Noenne: Don't push her around! DON'T BULLY MY CELTIE!
Celtie: But this person speaks the truth.
Celtie: In our world, the legends are the same. The cat kingdom was duped by Littleton, and we lost everything. I was the last to compete...
Celtie: The last to fail, at becoming an idol...
Celtie: Thus I haunted the mice, to garner revenge for—
Noenne: Who gives a rat's behind?!
Celtie: Huh?
Noenne: Look here! You're my band mate! Nothing's going to change that!
Noenne: We've been together forever! Smiling, laughing, losing! We've done it all!
Noenne: But we're just getting started making magic together! It's even in our group name!
Kapipi: *Sniff, sniff* Well said! You're one of us, Celtie!
Celtie: But, I...
Suizen: Sometimes, just sometimes, the heart is a truer guide than the mind.
Suizen: Do whatever feels right.
Celtie: Then may I stay in the group with you, Noenne?
Noenne: Of course you can!
Kapipi: You, you can stay with me too!
Alk: Playing the bad cop, Suizen?
Suizen: Of course. It's my calling.
Noenne: Waaaaah! We're going to be the best idols! I promise, promise, promise you!
Celtie: It's a deal!