Lassie/Stories
A young sailor by the name of Lassie attempts to save a woman being harassed by thugs—in the name of nautical justice.
Woman: S-somebody... Somebody help me!
Brusque Bandit: Keh-heh! What was that, li'l lady? Yer gonna have to speak up if yer tryna call fer help!
Blunt Bandit: Not that there's anyone around here to come help ya anyway!
Lassie: That's what you think! Lassie, nautical warrior of justice, is here to save the day!
Lassie: Listen up, baddies! How about you leave that poor girl alone and pick on someone your own size!
Blunt Bandit: Who's this brat supposed to be? You don't want any of this, little lady!
Lassie: Grr... I'm not a brat! I'll overlook your transgression...
Lassie: But ONLY if you let that poor woman go! You still have time to make things right!
Lassie: And time to cleanse your hands of these crooked ways! And time for you to start life anew—on the straight and narrow!
Blunt Bandit: Oho! Such mercy from a guardian angel of justice! Here's the thing though, pipsqueak...
Brusque Bandit: ...We don't wanna!
Woman: Eeep!
Lassie: H-hey! Don't do anything stupid!
Blunt Bandit: Easy there... One false move and my buddy's knife might just go stabby-stabby.
Lassie: You... You monsters!
Blunt Bandit: Shut it, short stuff!
Lassie: Ngh... Oof... You dirty... cheaters!
Brusque Bandit: What's the matter, little justice sailor? Where's all that bravado from before?
Woman: Oh, no... Please... Please stop!
Brusque Bandit: Ngahhh!
Blunt Bandit: H-hey!
Blunt Bandit: The hell do you think yer doin' to—
Blunt Bandit: Urngh!
Nimbus: What're you doin' fightin' in a place like this? You look like a mess.
Lassie: I... I had them just where I wanted! W-way to steal my spotlight!
Lassie: But, um... I should thank you for helping anyway, I guess.
Woman: A-are you okay, miss? I can't thank you enough for coming to my rescue.
Lassie: Oh, don't mention it, ma'am! Just doing my job!
Woman: Thank you... Thank you so very much.
Nimbus: Don't be so naive next time. Words won't get through with some people.
Nimbus: Skip the monologue and just beat the crap out of 'em, got it?
Lassie: No way! The path to redemption is open to anyone willing—nobody's THAT heartless!
Lassie: If I just beat them up, how will they ever get the chance to repent?
Nimbus: Even if it means puttin' yourself in harm's way?
Lassie: You betcha!
Nimbus: Ridiculous. Although... the world would be a better place with more people like you.
Lassie: Hee hee! Just doing my part in the name of nautical justice!
Nimbus: *sigh* That's fine and all, but try not to pick fights you're not equipped to handle, okay?
Lassie: Hmph! Size doesn't matter when it comes to meting out justice!
Lassie: I'm gonna keep doing my thing no matter what anybody says!
Nimbus: Hmm... You know what? I can respect that kind of determination.
Upon helping out a stranger, she receives a treasure map in return. However, with no interest in the treasure herself, she finds another use for the map.
Lassie: Hee hee... Another day, another good deed!
Lassie: Nothing better than saving people in the name of justice! And I even got some booty, to boot!
Stella: You look awfully happy, Lassie.
Lassie: Hee hee! You'll never believe this!
Lassie: I've finally got my hands on a real legendary treasure map!
Light: Wow... And where'd you find this map?
Lassie: Just now! It must've been fate that brought me and that old hooded lady together.
Lassie: She needed money to take care of her sick granddaughter, you see.
Lassie: Being a family heirloom and all, she didn't wanna sell it, but dire straights, you know?
Light: So you bought it from her?
Lassie: At first, I just wanted to give her the money since I didn't need the map.
Lassie: But she didn't want to accept charity, so I wound up taking it anyway.
Stella: That was very kind of you.
Lassie: You think so? Hee hee...
Light: H-hold on a second. She didn't strike you as suspicious at all?
Light: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you just got swindled...
Lassie: Even if I did, I'm fine with that.
Lassie: That just means her granddaughter isn't actually sick at all! Everybody wins here!
Stella: I suppose you're right, Lassie.
Light: *sigh* I thought you'd say something like that, but you really ought to be more vigilant.
Light: I suppose there's no changing you, though.
Stella: Do you plan to search for this treasure, Lassie?
Lassie: Treasure hunting? Might be fun. I AM a sailor, after all!
Lassie: But I've got an even better idea!
Light: Is that right?
Lassie: I could totally use this map as bait to reel in some pirates, and then wipe 'em all out in a single go!
Light: A single go?! Wh-what happened to meting out proper justice?
Lassie: This IS justice! Career evildoers won't get any mercy from me!
Lassie: Especially those who threaten to taint my beloved seas!
Lassie: This is what nautical justice is all about, baby!
Light: I see. How do you plan on "wiping out" these pirates once they've taken your bait?
Lassie: I, uh, I'm sure I'll have something cooked up once I get to that point! Yeah!
Stella: Perhaps we could be of assistance?
Lassie: Could you really? I mean, it'll be dangerous... Are you sure about that?
Light: Seeing as your plan's about as unrealistic as it is naive... yes.
Light: But if you're committing to it, Lassie, so are we.
Light: Whatever you plan on doing, we've got your back.
Lassie: Wow... Thanks a bunch, you guys!
Lassie: I might've been separated from my crew, but at least I've got you guys now!
Lassie: Hee hee! Now I'm REALLY pumped, you guys! Those pirates won't know what hit 'em!