Jake/Stories
The party undergo a surprise performance review for the Guild. Their examiner, Jake, is moved by their professionalism and teamwork.
Guild Staff: You've been randomly selected for a field evaluation.
Alk: An evaluation?
Stern Man: The Guild contracts specialists—such as myself—to routinely review the performance of adventurers, and ensure they are fit to handle Guild quests.
Stern Man: I will be accompanying you on your quest today. You will be evaluated on your professionalism, efficiency, and conduct.
Jake: My name is Jake. I'm looking forward to working with you.
Alk: Oh, um... Yeah.
Light: It's only a routine check. Think of it as a chance for us to show the guild what we're capable of.
Guild Staff: That's the spirit! It sounds scarier than it is—hardly anyone fails the evaluation. Just relax and do your quest like normal.
Guild Staff: Jake can be a bit intimidating at first, but he's another adventurer just like you guys.
Jake: While I appreciate the attempt to lighten the mood, please make no mistakes.
Jake: I am a professional, and my report WILL be forwarded to the Guild proper. I expect full compliance with Guild regulations—from them and you.
Alk: Th-this guy means business...
Jake: We've arrived at the orphanage, so I now will begin my evaluation. Please be aware I am prohibited from assisting you in any way. You may begin.
Jake: Let's see... Quest selection: assisting a local orphanage. Selection indicates compassion and a sense of responsibility to the local community.
Jake: Oh! Are you all right? You ought to look where you're going, young man!
Children: Eep! U-uwaaaaah!
Stella: Shhh. Jake is stern, but he isn't angry.
Children: *hic* Reawwy?
Jake: Of course. I apologize for scaring you. Running blindly can be very dangerous—I wouldn't want you to get hurt now, okay?
Children: *sniffle* Mm-hmm. Sowwy...
Jake: *gasp* Wh-what have I done?!
Jake: I obstructed the assessees' duties! I... I b-broke... the rules...
Jake: My contract strictly prohibits me from aiding or inhibiting adventurers during evaluations! What have I done?! I'm so sorry, I... I can't believe it...
Alk: I-it's fine, calm down!
Alk: We haven't even met the quest-giver yet, so can't the evaluation start then?
Jake: No! That's just making excuses.
Jake: I broke the rules. I-I should've just kept my mouth shut...
Stella: Why? You were trying to help the child, not us.
Light: While I understand your sentiment, rules exist for a reason—the spirit of the law is more important than the letter.
Light: The children don't know or care that you're examining us. If you stood around silently glaring at everyone, it would scare them and obstruct our work.
Jake: I suppose that's true, but...
Alk: Light's right, Jake! The kid's okay, so no harm, no foul.
Jake: But— But... *sigh*
Alk: Whew, all done! I'd say we did pretty well!
Light: The matron was very pleased with our work. With this, I believe it's safe to say we'll pass our evaluation.
Stella: How did we do, Jake?
Jake: Swimmingly. Just between us, you're the best party I've ever reviewed.
Alk: Jake?! Wait, why are you here?!
Jake: Your professionalism and teamwork deeply impressed me. I wanted to speak with you about it personally—off the clock.
Jake: I'd just about caught up when there was a flash and... where are we?
Alk: Ho-hold on, this ABSOLUTELY can't go in the report!
Jake: The field evaluation is just that—an assessment of whether or not you perform well on quests.
Jake: Please be assured, it's not a background check, and I've already finished my report anyhow.
Jake: Besides, I'm a third-party specialist contracted by the Guild. Divulging assessees' personal information would VERY much violate the rules on impartiality and privacy.
Light: That's reassuring to hear. We ask that you keep anything you see here to yourself.
Stella: Welcome to Starview Village.
Alk: Yeah, feel free to swing by and say hi whenever!
Jake: Thank you. It would be my pleasure.
Jake writes a guidebook for adventurers outlining the unspoken rules of the Kaleidoscope, and WHY following the rules is key to navigating the shifting labyrinth successfully.
Jake: Let's see... "Adventurers should make it their policy to check all equipment thoroughly before embarking on a quest."
Stella: Hello, Jake. What are you doing?
Jake: Just writing. It's a hobby of mine.
Alk: I didn't know you write. You're such a stickler for the rules, it's weird to picture you with an artistic hobby.
Jake: I'll admit it's a new hobby and, well...
Jake: I'm writing a rulebook of sorts. A guidebook—for adventurers.
Stella: A guidebook?
Jake: Yes, I plan to outline the unspoken rules of adventuring, like what emergency supplies to bring and how to correctly submit a completed quest.
Alk: Oh, that DOES sound handy.
Jake: That's my hope. I'd like it to be informational to both new and old adventurers.
Alk: Knowing how thorough you are, I'm sure it will be!
Stella: I'd like to read it when you finish.
Jake: Hmm, in that case, would you two mind being my beta readers? I'd like to test some of the guidelines out in the field.
Jake: All right, let's say you encountered a monster. What are you supposed to do?
Stella: SEE. Survey, Evaluate, Enact.
Jake: Very good. When you "SEE" a monster, you need to identify it, assess its weaknesses, and act accordingly.
Jake: For example, these monsters are agile, and often attack from above or behind. Let's move to the wall so they can only face us head-on.
Jake: We also know from the chapter on monsters that they have sensitive ears.
Jake: Loud noises are generally enough to scare them off. By following the "SEE" rule, we managed to avoid a fight entirely.
Jake: However, not all fights can be avoided. In that case, it's important to remain calm and watch your opponent to predict their actions—and respond safely.
Alk: Yeah, you should always be alert in the Kaleidoscope, huh?
Jake: Exactly. But, well, you already knew that. I hope it'll make sense to aspiring adventurers. It's easier to explain verbally than in writing.
Stella: What's the key point you want to teach them?
Jake: I suppose... the importance of the Kaleidoscope's unspoken rules.
Jake: People think since there's no penalty, they don't have to follow the rules, but... they're meant as guidelines to keep people safe. I want to explain WHY they matter.
Jake: I know it sounds rigid, but I do hope it'll be an enjoyable read.
Alk: I think it will. Matter-of-fact, but helpful—just like you!
Stella: Why not interview Alk or Light? Interviews would add variety to the writing, and they are experienced adventurers.
Alk: Huh? Light, maybe, but I'm not THAT knowledgeable.
Jake: No, Stella's right. I would appreciate any insight you have regarding rations.
Alk: Oh! Yeah, I could give you some tips on how to pack light, but nourishing meals.
Guild Staff: Get your copy of "Rules of the Kaleidoscope!" Get your copy now, before they're gone!
Adventurer: The "Rules of the Kaleidoscope?" What's it about?
Adventurer: It's a guidebook. Supposed to be good. *flip* This WOULD make it a lot easier to train rookies.
Adventurer: Ooh, look! That recipe looks good—and simple! I'll have to try it when I get home.
Light: Looks like your book is a huge success. I barely managed to find a copy myself.
Jake: Thank you. I'm proud of how it came out. Publishing it through the Guild certainly paid off—I wasn't expecting it to be such a hit.
Light: Guild advertising can only do so much —the book itself is getting great reviews from adventurers.
Alk: Yeah, you've got our seal of approval too, of course!
Stella: We're proud of how the book came out too.
Light: I can think of a few people I'd like to recommend it to already. With this guidebook, they'd be prepared for anything.
Jake: That's not true.
Jake: The Kaleidoscope is always shifting and changing—that's why it's called the "Kaleidoscope." I'll need to periodically update the rules accordingly.
Stella: You're planning to write another book?
Jake: Yes, as long as adventurers are exploring the Kaleidoscope, I'd like to provide them information and guidelines for success.
Jake: Would you be willing to help me?
Alk: Of course!
Jake: Thank you. ...I'm glad I met you all.