Inaho (Holiday)/Stories
Alk finds Inaho reenacting a magazine's trendsetter tips to score herself a date and presents for the holidays. When they shockingly don't work, she decides to give presents to as many people as possible in hopes they'll reciprocate.
Alk: Man, it's freezing! Remind me why we came THIS early in the morning...
Stella: Because the forecast said it would snow.
Alk: Snow, huh? The clouds ARE looking a bit suspicious, now that you mention it. Let's hurry and—
Stella: Is that Inaho?
Inaho: Mmm...
Inaho: Ah, a beautiful young maiden, softly sipping a grande stardrop snowglobe frappuccino with one pump of caramel and two pumps of gingerbread spice...
Inaho: *bats eyelashes*
Inaho: Hey! Where are you going?! How could you ignore such a heart-throbbing scene?!
Alk: We didn't want to interrupt, uh... What... exactly DID we interrupt?
Inaho: Glad you asked! Gather round, and listen well!
Inaho: I, Inaho Tamamo, am being "trendy!"
Alk: Riiight. Dare I ask?
Inaho: NEED you ask? Have you not heard of being "trendy?" Here, read this!
Alk: The Oculus? Let's see... "10 Trendy Tricks to be His Holiday Heart-throb!"
Alk: ...What is this?
Inaho: A complete guide to the ancient Palpebran holiday tradition of exchanging gifts!
Inaho: If you follow all the steps to be trendy, boys have to give you presents!
Inaho: I am an ADORABLE girl in an oversized sweater, drinking a winter exclusive frappuccino at a cozy café! The boys will never know what hit them.
Alk: That explains... so much...
Inaho: Yup! What do you think of my outfit? I got Shirano to make it for me.
Stella: You look very cute.
Stella: I'm not familiar with Palpebran fashion, but I believe there is a fair likelihood you appear "trendy. Maybe.
Inaho: You do? You really do?! Thank you, Stella!
Inaho: All right! Now I know I am on the right track, I shall have myself a boyfriend in no time!
Inaho: EEP! Did I say that out loud?
Alk: Well, would you look at the time? It's been great talking to you, Inaho. Bye!
Stella: Good luck.
Inaho: Now then, back to being trendy! I shall be the most popular girl in all the land! Ehehe... Ahahaha!
Alk: She's still here?!
Stella: How did being trendy go?
Inaho: *sniffle* I did everything the magazine said, but... but... *hic* No boyfriend. No presents. Just a huge headache from all the coffee...
Alk: Well, you're welcome to come help us bake a cake. C'mon, it's about time you called it a day.
Inaho: Mm-hm... *sniffle* Okay...
Inaho: *sigh* NOW what am I to do? I was looking forward to the present-swapping ritual.
Nimbus: I dunno, just get yourself a present and call it done.
Nimbus: Wait, I know! That pretty boy of yours was saying he—
Nimbus: The hell was that for?!
Inaho: WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WAS FOR?! You KNOW Soushiro rejected me, you meanie!
Alk: All right, calm down. The holiday's about giving gifts to people you love, like family and friends. It doesn't have to be romantic.
Alk: And, if you're good, there's always Santa. He's this saint who's got a naughty and nice list, and every year...
Inaho: I had no idea. This Santa you speak of is a genius! He must get dozens—no, HUNDREDS of presents!
Alk: I just said he GIVES lots of presents.
Inaho: Exactly! People swap presents with people they like, right?
Alk: Right.
Inaho: So if he gives presents to as many people as possible, the ones who like him will give presents back! I should have thought of this sooner!
Alk: That's a PERFECT plan, Inaho. It can't POSSIBLY go wrong.
Inaho: But of course! Just you watch, Alk.
Inaho: I read in the Oculus that the best gift is something money cannot buy—your heartfelt smile! Here, Alk, a DAZZLING beam for you!
Alk: Wooow. Thanks, Inaho. How generous of you.
Inaho: You are very welcome! Now then, we must make haste! Awa, Mugi, Hie, call the yokai for a parade! We march tonight!
Fox Kit: Yaaay!
Inaho: We shall do Santa proud!
Inaho: Hmm, everything should be ready. The Terrible Tub-licker cleaned up an old cart for us, and the tengu let me borrow a fan to control the wind.
Inaho: The yokai sleigh is ready for take-off! All we need is a red-nosed reindeer!
Fox Kit: On it!
Inaho: Here goes nothing!
Inaho: AAAAA, SLOW DOOOWN!
Inaho: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! Go back dow—NOT THAT FAAAAST!
Alk: Well, it was great knowing them.
Alk: So... what are all of you doing in Starview? You didn't come just to watch the sleigh take off, did you?
Gramp Zigza: Hah! I'm here on business, sonny. Those little fox friends of yours asked me to bring as many copies of the Yokai Encyclopedia as possible.
Gramp Zigza: All the little tots and tykes get free copies of the first volume, and I get my return when they beg their mummies to buy 'em the next ones.
Shirano: As for the rest, word got out that Princess Inaho was giving away gifts.
Shirano: Goodness knows I've told that silly girl not to make big promises without thinking of the consequences! But does she? No, of course not.
Alk: Reeeally feeling the warm, fuzzy holiday spirit right now.
Shirano: I don't know what you expected, dearie. There's never a quiet day with Princess Inaho around.
Stella: Yes, Starview is always lively when she's here.
Alk: ...True enough.
Inaho: WHEEEEE! This is so FUN! Come on, faster, faster!
A man begs for mercy as the yokai's blood-red sleigh approaches—and is given a present before they take off to spread more cheer, despite the shogun personally mobilizing the entire Diviners' Commission to cancel the holiday festivities.
Tipsy Man: Ngh. *hic* Were there alwaysh TWO moons?
Tipsy Man: Oof... Damn moons! Can'tcha see a guysh tryin' ta have himshelf a pity party down here? *hic* Shoo! Git!
Tipsy Man: The worsht of winter's comin' and I ain't got a single meashy *hic* meehsly coin ta my name! What'll I tell my wife?
Tipsy Man: M'boy's cold n' hungry... *hic* Daddy'll shteal if he hasta, boy... Daddy'll do what he hasta... *hic*
Tipsy Man: Wha-what's that music?!
Tipsy Man: Aaa—AAAAAH!
Tipsy Man: A-a-a yo-yokai parade?! I-I ain't ready ta go over ta that side yet!
Alk: Sorry, could you move to the side of the road? We need some space to land the sleigh.
Alk: We'll be done and gone in a minute, okay?
Tipsy Man: Wh-what?
Inaho: All right, you three, the road is clear! Land it right over... there!
Inaho: Happy holidays!
Tipsy Man: Ple-PLEASE HAVE MERCY, O' BE-BENOVOLENT YOKAI!
Inaho: Benevolent? Heh, you could tell? I suppose I could spare a present for you!
Tipsy Man: I-I got a wife and kid waitin' for me at home!
Shirano: Thank goodness, he's already married. I don't know what I would've done if THIS was the man to finally complete the present-swap.
Inaho: ...EW. I most certainly am not swapping presents with an ugly old man!
Inaho: But as the most MAGNANIMOUS yokai Santa, I shall bestow upon this smelly man a gift. I ask nothing in return.
Inaho: Here, happy holidays! Food for you and your family.
Inaho: Now then, we still have many presents to give out. Up, up, and away!
Tipsy Man: M-my prayers were answered by... by yokai?
Inaho: Ahaha, I make an excellent Santa, if I do say so myself!
Shirano: Indeed, this is your best yokai parade yet. Your mother will be ever so proud, dear!
Inaho: My SANTA parade! Tonight is about trends and presents, not Mother's moldy old tricks and pranks!
Alk: What about generosity and goodwill? ...No? No takers?
Stella: I like the trends and presents. This is very fun, Inaho.
Inaho: Right?! We have plenty of gifts, and I just KNOW a handsome sweet guy is out there waiting to fall head-over-heels in love with—
Inaho: MeEEEEP?!
Suizen: I'm afraid no one is falling tonight but you, fox.
Suizen: I knew you couldn't be up to any good when I received reports of yokai flying around in a blood-red cart.
Suizen: But for your sake, I do hope you have a better excuse for this nonsense than what I just overheard, Inaho Tamamo.
Alk: Inaho, are you okay? We—
Alk: Suizen? Ca-calm down. There's a good... Uh, okay, so there actually ISN'T a good reason for this, but we weren't trying to cause any trouble, I promise.
Suizen: Oh? Tell me more, Alk. I would be delighted to hear EXACTLY why the shogun had to mobilize my entire force of diviners in the middle of the night.
Alk: Uh... Uh, um, well...
Inaho: Nngh...
Inaho: WHO CARES?!
Suizen: You've done it now, Inaho...
Inaho: Who does the shogun think he is? I am Princess Inaho Tamamo, yokai Santa!
Inaho: I have places to be, thanks! BRING THE SLEIGH HERE!
Inaho: Catch me if you can, poopie-head! Later, loser!
Suizen: You'll regret this, fox!
Alk: INAHOOO! Don't leave me down here with him! H-HEEELP!
Suizen: Hmph. Who do they think has to clean up all their messes?
Suizen: ...Must be nice, running around without a care for consequences.
Inaho: Mwahaha! That was close, but we sure showed him! Did you see the look on his face? Ooh, you have no idea how long I have waited to do that!
Alk: ...Yep. And I really can't wait for when he finds us. THAT'S gonna be a blast.
Stella: Let's all go apologize to Suizen later.
Inaho: Yeah, we can deal with him later. Right now, we have presents to pass out!
Shirano: We do, but I'm afraid we've already seen everyone you wanted to visit, Princess dear.
Inaho: We have plenty of time until morning. Why not fly around and give gifts to whomever we see?
Inaho: We can show that bossy old scrooge of a shogun some holiday spirit!
Alk: He is SO gonna take it as a challenge...
Alk: Well, who needs sleep or a plan, anyways? Sounds fun, so I'm in!
Stella: I'll do my best to stay awake.
Fox Kits: We aren't sleepy at all! *yawn*
Shirano: Ooh, I can already imagine the trouble you'd cause if I went to bed now.
Inaho: Then it is settled!
Inaho: Onward! Tonight, we give people the happiest, merriest, trendiest holiday ever!
After her Santa adventure, Inaho realizes the only "presents" she received were shrine offerings—until Alk and Stella show up with gifts to swap. Re-energized, Inaho summons a shower of shooting stars to make everyone's wishes come true.
Inaho: Hnnnrgh...
Inaho: Hmm... *sigh* Why? WHY?
Alk: What's all the grumbling for, Inaho? Everything okay?
Inaho: NO! I-I was so trendy, so why am I not popular yet?
Inaho: I did everything the magazine said and more! So why did I not receive a single present?!
Inaho: ...Well, to be fair, I did find this stuff addressed to me, but...
Alk: Wait, you got ALL of this? And that isn't enough?
Inaho: Mmm... I dunno. I found them laid out near the entrance of our shrine, but they all had cards with prayers attached.
Alk: Prayers?
Inaho: Things like, "Benevolent nine-tailed fox, please bless our village with fruitful harvests."
Alk: Those, uh... sound like offerings.
Inaho: Exactly! And, and... someone had the GALL to ask for love and a happy marriage.
Inaho: If I could magically give people boyfriends then I. WOULD NOT. BE SINGLE!
Alk: W-well, there's always next year.
Inaho: *sigh*
Inaho: I suppose I knew all along...
Inaho: Somewhere in my heart, I understood Santa's popularity was not the kind I wanted, but I clung to it anyways.
Alk: Yeah... I mean, no one thinks about asking Santa out on a date... Probably.
Inaho: *sigh* I wanted to be popular...
Inaho: I wanted to be populaaar! *sniffle*
Alk: Me too, Inaho. Me too.
Inaho: You... you too?
Alk: It's embarrassing to admit, but I think deep-down, everyone wants to be the star of their story.
Inaho: Everyone wants to be... the star?
Stella: I don't understand.
Inaho: Forget about it, Stella. That is enough moping for one day! A-ahem. I, um, I...
Inaho: I have presents for both of you!
Inaho: Y-you know, friend presents! The, um, "like" like kind, not the "LIKE" like...
Stella: We "like" like you too, Inaho.
Inaho: Huh?
Alk: And we also have presents for you, which means... Drumroll please!
Inaho: I get to swap presents with you!
Inaho: Here, Stella. Peaches from a secret mythical spring!
Stella: Peaches! They're so soft...
Inaho: They are said to be so sweet, anyone who eats them becomes sweet and saintly too!
Inaho: Not that you need it. But I hope you like them!
Stella: I do. Thank you, Inaho. They look delicious.
Inaho: Next up is Alk! I made your present out of a branch from the top of an ancient, sacred tree in Mother's shrine.
Inaho: Ta-da! A rolling pin!
Alk: Oh!
Inaho: What do you think? Just imagine all the things you can make!
Alk: I-I think it's great! Way more practical than what I was afraid— I mean, ahem... Thanks, Inaho!
Alk: All right, my turn. Here you are! Happy holidays!
Inaho: Wow! Hair oil? It smells so goooood!
Alk: Yup, it's made with the forest sprites' favorite herbs and flowers. Perfect for both hair and fur!
Inaho: I cannot wait to try it! I can always trust you to be in the loop on girly girl stuff, Alk!
Inaho: Hm? What is this second bag?
Stella: That's from me. Open it up.
Inaho: WHOOOOA! These are the cutest earrings I have ever seen!
Stella: Do you like them?
Inaho: I love them, Stella! Forget the popular trends, THIS is my style!
Stella: I'm glad you love them. I hope they are trendy too, though.
Inaho: This is the best day ever! Thank you both so, so, so much!
Inaho: Stella, Alk, I actually have one more thing for you.
Inaho: Follow me.
Alk: Wow, the view up here is amazing!
Stella: It's beautiful...
Inaho: I read about winter illuminations in the Oculus.
Inaho: I waited until the big day so we could see the lights together under the stars!
Inaho: Happy memories are the best holiday present of all, right?
Stella: I agree. Thank you, Inaho.
Inaho: Nuh-uh, no thank yous yet! We are only just getting started!
Inaho: People wish upon shooting stars, do they not?
Inaho: What would you wish for?
Stella: I wish that we can stargaze together like this again some time.
Alk: Ooh, that's a good one! Me too!
Inaho: Easy peasy!
Inaho: A small feat for Princess Inaho Tamamo, yokai Santa!
Inaho: Stars above, heed our wishes and dance for us tonight!
Inaho: Behold the golden power of Nine Tails—Stardrop Snowglobe!
Pur Lilie: I've never seen snow that glows before... Hey, wait. Are these—
Children: STAAAAARS! Look at all the shooting stars!