Dorothea/Stories
Alk hires a maid to save him from his ever-growing mountain of chores. He's assigned the snarky, bossy Dorothea, but she turns out to be just what Starview needed.
Alk: Li-Light... Tell the others I said— G-good... bye......
Light: There are too many people in Starview for you to handle all the laundry by yourself. I'll go grab the others to help.
Alk: Nah, I'm sure they're all busy with something or other. It might be time to think about hiring a maid to help with the chores.
Light: Hmm. Perhaps. There are many secrets in Starview, so we'd need someone discreet, though.
Alk: Yeah, especially if they need to be in and out of people's rooms. We can ask if the Guild has any recommendations.
Maids: Welcome home, Milord! Take a seat and a server will be with you shortly.
Alk: Oh, um, I'm actually looking for a MAID maid. Y'know, for housekeeping? The Guild directed me here.
Maid: Yep, all the waitresses here at the Maids' Parlor are genuine maids! We offer a free one-day trial on housekeeping services. What kind of maid did you have in mind?
Alk: I guess someone discreet who won't gossip about stuff they see on the job.
Alk: I'd also appreciate someone who's good at looking after others, and isn't afraid to speak their mind when there's a problem.
Maid: In that case, I would recommend Dorothea. *clap* Dorothea!
Alk: Wait, she looks younger than me! ...Are you sure?
Maid: Of course, Milord. She's observant, doesn't like gossip—and she CERTAINLY isn't afraid to speak her mind!
Dorothea: Dorothea. A pleasure to meet you, I'm sure. Now then, let's get this over with.
Dorothea: You're joking, right? Does this look like a two-person job to you, pea-brain?
Alk: How many more maids do you think we need? ...I figured anything was better than trying to do it all myself, but this IS a lot.
Dorothea: Depends. Maids aren't cheap, but I'll bet you've got someone or another here who could handle this with magic, easy.
Alk: With magic? How?
Dorothea: Look at your tiny tub. You'd have to do a ton of little loads and keep changing the water, while magic could wash the whole load in one go—and air-blow dry it too.
Alk: That DOES sound a lot easier! I wonder if anyone'd mind helping...
Dorothea: If they want clean clothes, they can pitch in. Honestly, if you have people you can put to use, just... put them to use?
Dorothea: Why should YOU have to do all this yourself? It would take forever to do this alone. ...Here.
Dorothea: Drink that. Potions and poisons are a specialty of mine. Heh... Don't worry—that one's safe. It'll give you more energy.
Alk: Huh? Isn't this just a free trial? I'd feel bad taking a potion for free…
Dorothea: I still get paid, you know? Besides, I can't have you collapsing on me—for my sake.
Dorothea: I'm supposed to provide "exceptional service that goes above and beyond" and all that garbage. I'd prefer not to soil my positively glowing track record.
Dorothea: It looks like you were trying to sort everything, huh? Darks, lights, knits, delicates...
Alk: Yeah! I want to take proper care of all the clothes, but everyone dumps them in the same basket, so I have to sort it myself.
Dorothea: Get that aaaaall the time. People act like a wool skirt is the same as a silk blouse, but get mad if you DARE wash ladies' garments with men's, as if they have "cooties."
Alk: Oh, I know, right? I mean, I get not wanting stuff washed with Nimbus' stinky undies, but Light's shirt? C'mon. He's a bunny!
Dorothea: (Why am I always so blunt? This place seems nice, but there's no way he's gonna hire me after I bossed him around all day.)
Dorothea: Well, that's it for your free trial. What do you think? Should I come back tomorrow, or do you wanna try someone else?
Alk: Hmm... I wasn't really sure about this whole housekeeping thing, to be honest.
Alk: But after today, I can't believe I never tried this earlier!
Alk: You're definitely more blunt than I was expecting, but it was nice having someone say all the stuff I don't have the guts to. Your critiques were completely on the mark!
Alk: All the little tips and tricks you taught me are gonna make life so much easier! You're everything I could ask for in a maid!
Alk: Would you be Starview's maid? Oh, and um, I'd appreciate it if you were maybe a liiittle bit more straightforward! I can tell you're really caring underneath all the sass.
Dorothea: Ca-caring?! Don't get the wrong idea —it's my JOB to care for people. And what's with "maybe a little?" If you've got something to say, tell it to me straight, coward!
Alk: B-but! That'd be rude! I don't know where you get the courage to insult people to their face...
Dorothea: Rude? Did you just call me RUDE?
Alk and Dorothea go on Starview's weekly grocery run, and cause all sorts of mischief haggling.
Dorothea: Ugh, isn't it a pain running around buying all the groceries? You get the exact same thing every week—just have it delivered!
Alk: Would if I could, but the "W.F." is a secret. Still, I can't believe you made a color-coded grocery list. You sure are thorough.
Dorothea: O-obviously! It's my JOB. What's with this list anyways? There's only a million different kinds of alcohol. Can't we just get one pack of beer and be done?
Alk: I-I don't know! Apparently some of the older residents want to do a taste- testing party to unwind a bit.
Dorothea: Who cares? WE can't drink. If they want one of everything under the sun, they can go buy it their damn selves!
Dorothea: Humph. I should've dragged someone along to carry the bags. Too late now, I guess. C'mon, hurry up or we'll be here all day.
Dorothea: All right, Alk, listen. If you try to buy this much alcohol, it's not gonna be cheap, so we've gotta play it smart and haggle.
Alk: I guess we could try, but I'm not very good at haggling.
Dorothea: Well you're talking to a master. You be amazed how much a sweet teary maiden can knock off a price tag.
Alk: A sweet maiden? I guess we could zip back to Starview and see if anyone wants to help us negotiate prices.
Dorothea: Starview? When there's a sweet, adorable maid right here?
Alk: Oh, I guess there IS the Maids' Parlor right nearby! Do you have someone specific in mind?
Dorothea: ...Y-you're doing that on purpose! Why do you think I bother with this eyepatch? Because it's CUTE, dumbass!
Alk: Wait, it's just for fashion?!
Dorothea: Obviously! Why else would I lug around a toy and put up with TWO petticoats?! ...Just you watch!
Bartender: Why, hello there, sweetie. I'm afraid you aren't old enough to drink.
Dorothea: *sniffle* I-I know, but... milord s-sent me to shopping for him and—hic— I know this isn't enough, b-but...
Dorothea: He—hic—he forgot to give me the money for it. I scraped together everything from my piggy-bank, but... *sniffle* This is all I—
Alk: D-Dorothea?! Stop!
Alk: People are gonna think you mean ME! I'll never be able to show my face in Palpebra again!
Dorothea: Ugh, you RUINED my act!
Bartender: Ahaha! Oh, please. I could hear you two plotting the whole thing in the hallway. *wheeze* Man, I can't believe you thought that'd work.
Bartender: Whew, that was a good laugh. I'll give you a little discount for the show, but you're paying full price next time, okay?
Alk: I'm glad he wasn't mad at us after your little skit. Now we're almost done shopping!
Dorothea: Looks like the only thing left on the list is flour. There should be a miller over this way.
Snooty Miller: Filthy street rat! Get away from my wares!
Children: Please, sir! Just enough to feed my brothers. I-I'll work to pay it off! Please...
Snooty Miller: A dirty urchin like you? Non! You'd soil my wares. Now scram!
Alk: Hey! What do you think you're—
Dorothea: Shhh. Don't shout. You'll make things worse.
Alk: B-but!
Dorothea: Heh, this is gonna be fun. ...Leave it to me—and play along this time.
Dorothea: Oh, MY! Milord, I do believe that's the miller ALL the nobles were raving about! Why, I heard he supplies royalty!
Alk: And look how charitable he is, giving bread to the poor! I heard the rumors, but I thought it was just talk.
Dorothea: I've heard he refuses to accept a single coin from the needy—gives it all for free out of the goodness of his heart, bless him.
Snooty Miller: Ahaha...ha... But of c-course! To s- someone as wealthy as me, a few loaves are worth b-but pocket change! Free bread and grain for all! *whimper*
Alk: I kinda feel bad now... Let's pay for ours properly.
Dorothea: Bastard had it coming if you ask me. Hah! Look at him trying to flaunt how rich and magnanimous he is. I'm taking my free flour.
Alk: He kinda did have it coming, honestly. It was funny, but I think you punished him plenty.
Alk: Man, that ended up being an adventure, but now we're all set for the week.
Dorothea: That was the most fun I've had running errands in a looong time.
Dorothea: I'm looking forward to coming back next week.